Standing To One Side

Where you stand determines what you see.

This is one of those aphorisms, much beloved by Christian writers and speakers, which holds true most of the time.

How you read the parable of the prodigal sons depends on whether your read it as a parent , or a child (obedient or otherwise). How we understand the tale of the good Samaritan will hinge on our experiences of caring for strangers, or being in need of their care.

And so we come to the story of this week, Mary and Martha, illustrated by a parable in full sound and colour, on ABC television’s Q&A on Monday night. A question from one of the audience was about how domestic violence is “normalised” by certain behaviour, like men joking about hurting women.

The questioner was a man whose sister had been murdered by her partner twelve months previously. It was a challenging question, but the engagement from two of the panellists illustrated the heart of the concern, when the older Anglo man constantly interrupted, dismissed and then derided the younger woman beside him with “You’re just being hysterical”.

Now, don’t forget, where you stand determines what you see.

How a large man understands violence against women must be different from the experience of a woman, victim, or not. But the response of the male panellist was an attempt to diminish, or dismiss, what the woman was saying, perhaps even “to put her in her place”.

One of the reasons for violence against women is that some men dismiss their worth, or feel threatened when they move out from their assigned “place”.

How do you see the story of Mary and Martha? Some would argue that Martha has accepted her assigned place, that of service, and is offended by Mary’s behaviour, neglecting to help her sister. I think that perception continues the problem of devaluing Martha and her valuable ministry.

It is Mary who has grasped new possibilities, looking for a new place for herself, as others do when they meet Jesus. Mary is a disciple of Jesus, sitting at his feet, listening to “Jesus’ word”.

Are we confused, even offended, that Mary is called a disciple? Are we scrambling around to classify the originally named twelve as inner circle, leaving Mary on the edge? Do we simply dismiss the possibility that a woman can be a disciple of Jesus at all?

Have we found that bible verse which (we think) assigns women their proper, subservient, silenced, place in the Gospel? And have we collated our theological scraps sufficiently in order to justify our behaviour?

Please remember, where we stand determines what we see.

As we are challenged, even confronted, by the questions which this powerful story asks, take a few steps to one side and consider it again. Sit down and look up; climb a ladder and look down. Ask different questions: why do I think this way about this story? Ask a friend, one of a different gender, different culture, different faith, and listen to how they read this event in Jesus’ life, in Martha’s life, in Mary’s life.

Then look again.